Tag Archive | Grief

TRIBUTE TO MY FATHER

Dear Readers,

On 7/17/2017, my father went to be with the Lord. That’s an awful lot of sevens, and that is interesting because the number 7 is often associated with perfection or completion in the Bible. What’s even more interesting is that his name, Kamal, in Arabic, means perfect.

I think he would get a kick out of that. 🙂

One of the things I remember the most about my father is how light-hearted he was and how easy it was to make him smile. Anytime I would come over, he’d grin from ear to ear like it was the first time he’d ever seen me.

As I grew older, I grew to appreciate his sweet disposition and sense of humor.  He was just one of those types of people that was a delight to be around…and he had a quick wit! One day we were at his Dr’s office for some tests. I asked him if he remembered the tech’s name. He did. He stated her name, and I said, “Baba, that’s right! You got it right!”  He smiled and said, “Of course, but I only remember the girls’ names!”

Yet this sweet, unassuming man also went through many difficulties – he moved his family to the U.S. with limited resources, cared for my mother through her illness, and persevered through his own failing health with a quiet strength. I’d often get so worried about him, only to discover that he would again surprise me with his energy and tenacity. I later came to understand that this perseverance came from a strong faith and trust in God. He lived a life that proved God’s love.

I remember once when I was going through a very difficult time in my life. He and I would take walks around the neighborhood every day after work, and I’d complain about my troubles. He’d look at me and say, “Margaret, if God will allow anything negative in your life,” – and he’d say this with emphasis – “it is for a very good reason.” He was right.

And when I had regrets, even the big ones, one of the most hopeful things he taught is that God can even use my mistakes to work together for my good and His glory.

I will always consider him a gift to us, one that I have often wondered how I could deserve.

One thing I am especially grateful and honored to have gotten from him is a love for word of God. My father was a prolific writer, and I think this interest was a strong and distinctive bond between us. I’d often joke with him about how I was most blessed of the three of his daughters to have seemed inherit this from him.

His legacy will live on in countless binders he has written, Bible Studies on every subject you can think of. He’s poured his heart into a study about the book of Galatians that’s been published in Arabic. I’m so grateful to continue his work and vow to publish it in English.

He was the spiritual leader of the family, teaching us of God’s love, even from an early age. I remember we would come home from church and he would always bring up the sermon and we’d discuss it over lunch. One day, reading from our children’s bible, he turned to each of us and told us that Jesus loved us enough to die on the cross for us. I remember that moment because it was the first time that I knew in my heart that someone had to, and I believed.

He lead me to the Lord, and without this, without the fact that he reflected Christ so much, without his demonstration of how life is to be lived, I would not be who I am today.

He was fascinated with Heaven, and often spoke of it with eager anticipation. I can’t imagine how much he is beaming from ear to ear right now, finally reunited with my mother and in the presence of God. It blows my mind that he has all of his questions answered now and is brought back into the arms of the God who created him.

Was my father perfect? If he was here today, he’d laugh and “Yes, of course, that’s my name!”  Yet although no one is perfect, Hebrews 1:14 tells us that because of Christ’s atonement for sin, one day we will all be made perfect:

For it says, “For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified”.

Just like my father is now perfected in Heaven.

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A MEMORY OF MY MOTHER

“Hi Mom, anybody home?”

I knocked on the door and walked in at the same time.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming over!” she’d call back, slapping her face for added drama.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t because I didn’t want you to feel like you had to make any food for me.”

“But it’s not right not to have anything for you!” she’d always counter back at me. “HarRAM”, she’d say in Arabic, a phrase she used, which loosely translated means “you poor thing!”.

And on we’d continue. This particular conversation would be repeated many more times between my mother and I while she was alive.

She was the type that always gave of her time and talents, and boy, was cooking one of them!

Cabbage rolls, stuffed grapevine leaves, pan-fried fish that was all so filling, so comforting. She made the best grilled eggplant that I tried to duplicate once but failed miserably.

I didn’t want her to fuss, really…because I knew she would, and that wasn’t fair to her.

What I didn’t realize was that she took joy in serving, that she wasn’t just being polite, she really felt distressed that a virtual spread wasn’t on the table to meet me at my surprise appearances.

Even in her last years, when she couldn’t stand for long periods of time, I would see her seated at the stove, doing the best she could.

…and when we gave back just a little to her, you would have thought we gave her the moon by the way she would go on and on in gratitude.

Stranger, friend, or family — Give her an ounce of kindness and she’d repay you with an extra amount.

She loved her family, and she loved the Lord. She gave her life to both, fully and without holding back.

Now, exactly two years to the day she left us, I can see her smiling at peace, living in the mansion God prepared for her, seated at the table, serving, laughing, feasting in Heaven.

Picture of Mom (2)

THOUGHTS ON MY MOTHER’S PASSING (ONE YEAR LATER)

A year ago today my mom went to be with the Lord.

And today, He has especially given me His assurance of victory and peace…

Of my mother’s comfort and joy,

Of newness and hope,

Of victory over all, when it’s all said and done.

Though there were days I wondered if we’d ever survive, we stood today at her gravesite, and I marveled that we not only made it through, but I knew that He had carried us through.

Today was one of those days that you think God may have turned up the colors on the Earth. Especially bright, sunny, with a just-perfect, soothing breeze. When we played the Hallelujah chorus by Handel, (a piece she loved), I couldn’t help but think that it was a small peek at the beauty she is seeing and hearing in heaven.

A year ago, I heard another wonderful song, “Grace Falls Down” by Christy Nockels. It kept running through my head when God comforted my mother after an especially hard day. It kinda became a theme of God’s goodness and care for her in my head:

 

As I was leaving the gravesite and got into my car today, I turned on the radio. Guess what was playing?

Amazing Grace

How sweet the sound

Amazing Love

Now flowing down

From hands and feet

That were nailed to a tree

As Grace flows down and covers me

 

What a reminder that He has covered my mom with grace, in her life, and now in a greater way I can’t imagine in heaven. As I walked the park later today, I noticed the same brightness, and His creation seemed to speak one word: Peace.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3: 22-23)

Yes, life is hard. Sometimes it is a horrible nightmare. We will suffer. We will be in anguish. There will be days when we may doubt His presence. ..but He can and will snuff that away. He whispers his comfort and a heavenly “told you so” when we look back on His faithfulness. And having shown this, we see a small way that He will ultimately provide the final victory. Besides, He said He would:

“And He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” 5And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And He said, “Write, for these words are faithful and true.” Then He said to me, “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end…”(Rev. 21:4-6) 

Christ has the last word in all of this. Just wait and see.

 

See the original post: “Thoughts on my mother’s passing at Easter

TIDINGS OF COMFORT

                                                                                                           (news.yahoo.com)

Like many in this country, I’ve been watching a lot of the news coverage of the Sandy Hook shootings. I still can’t comprehend something that horrible could and did happen. While we are all shocked and saddened, I don’t believe any of us can truly fathom the grief that the parents of those little children are facing.

I am not going to pretend to know why this has happened, I can only say that we live in a fallen world. This act of violence just shows the depravity of man and the capacity for evil that man has apart from God.

I cannot be so far removed that I don’t realize that at this minute there are parents who are trying to live from day to day, and that there are children who are deeply traumatized. There will be a very long road of healing ahead.

So I’ll let my words be few. I pray that in the coming days, weeks, and months, (especially at Christmas), that these families will know God’s comfort in undeniable ways. I pray that they will be drawn to Him and their faith will be strengthened; that they will be surrounded by the love and support of their community.

The killer didn’t know God in this life, but he does now — in an awful, fearful way. At this minute, justice has already been served, more than we know. I know that does not bring back those we have lost, but still, I await the day when God will pull back the curtain from His side of Heaven and we will finally have all of our “whys” answered, when He will overcome and lock up the power of hell forever.